Keeping promises is extremely important. It is a matter of trust and of truth. In this case, I am keeping a promise to myself. I am taking risks. I am facing fears. It is an interesting thing to do, to decide publicly to take risks and then to follow through with the promise. So, about now, if anyone is reading this, they are thinking this is boring and not worth returning. That’s okay, this is actually for me. YEP. This is all about ME.
I have had “writer’s block” for about the last 10 years or so. I do not really understand WHY I have this block, but I do know it is very real. I know that I have avoided written tasks. I have tried to talk myself out of it, I have tried to reason myself out of it, I have tried to “psychology” myself out of it, but I have finally realized I cannot do that. I have to write myself out of it, and that is not easy.
So, what to do? Well, last weekend I pushed myself beyond myself and attended “Unplugd12” in Canada. I went because it was a writing task instead of not going to avoid the writing. I went to deal with my block in a very deep and personal way.
And I survived.
In another post I will detail more about unplugd, but right now it is about me (remember?). So I went, and I wrote, and I learned and I grew… oh yes, I did laugh and cry and paddle a canoe too (but that is for another post). The most important thing I did was I made myself a promise… I WILL write. I will write for me. I will write publicly and I will write privately too, but no matter what I WILL write.
SO today, the first day home with a good night’s sleep I decided to write a blog post.
- I had to find my old blog – you see I thought I would do this last year too… and I did.
- I had to remember my log in information… and I failed
- I had WordPress send me my log in and then I had them send me my password… and they did.
- I had to write my post… and I failed.
- I had to figure out why I could not type in the “New Post” text box… and I failed.
- I could have quit, but I didn’t. I contacted a friend for help and he could do it… but I still failed.
- I restarted the browser… and I still failed
- I restarted my computer… and I still failed
- I changed browsers from Firefox to Safari… and it worked!
- I began writing.
I had so many reasons to quit. I had so many failures. I had so many excuses to NOT write… but I AM writing. I am keeping my promise to myself… just write.
Keeping this promise to myself feels good.